The Journey of Despair

  Have you ever felt more nervous than awaiting your SPM results?The day of finally receiving my SPM results,which I have worked so hard for is coming near-21^st March 2012.It’s now the 20^th,UTP students were given the privilege to head back to their respective hometowns to receive their results where friends and family await.I too returned home in the afternoon of the 20^th.A variety of components made my journey an unforgettable one such as mixed emotions,high expectations,friends,family,hopes and dreams.

  A mixture of emotions were in me as I awaited the day.At first,anxiety just filled me up to a point where I had trouble sleeping and thinking.I couldn’t think straight and sleep well which just made the scenario even worst.It was the night of the 20^th,I had decided to turn on the television.I felt at ease as I watched ‘How I Met Your Mother’-a hit comedy TV series.Laughter had me goin on for hours and happiness too.It was already 2am on the 21^st which indicates bedtime.As I was on my bed about to sleep,I started wondering of the despair I would have if I’d had gotten horrendous results.The sadness would had been unbearable and unacceptable as I had worked so hard for.Nightmares came gushing in thoughts of not achieving the expected results became imminent.

  Teachers and family had high expectations on me.They expected the very best since I was among the brightest student in my school.With all that,there was too much pressure on me.I had completed 10 subjects for SPM and hoped for the very best.I had undergone long hours of studying,day and night.In fact,I had little time for recreational activities like jogging,and playing tennis which were among my hobbies. Watching television and playing computer games were also kept to a minimum for time was of the essence.As the saying goes,time and tide waits for no man.

  Naturally,I too had many hopes and dreams.I was rather ambitious to say the least.I imagined that I was among the the top scorers in Malaysia.With that in mind,I strived to be the top of my class.At first,my childhood ambition was to be a dentist.But as I was better of with my chemistry,physics and mathematics,I decided to be an engineer.

  The morning finally arrived.Friends had already gathered,eagerly waiting to have a first look on their results.Classmates which I have not met in a reasonably long time were present and extremely excited.As usual,my palms were sweaty,heartbeat raised,and was breathing heavily.Around 11am,the list of the names of students with straight As’ were announced.Unfortunately,my name was not in that list.Depression and sadness consumed me.Parents,teachers and relatives were shocked to hear of the bad news.Parents and relatives were supportive in helping me cope with such misery.

  From this traumatic experience,I’ve learnt many new values.Among them are being optimistic.Mahatma Gandhi once quoted,optimism is the key to success.One should not study hard but study smart.

 Philip Goh Boon Hong

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